Microsoft Feces

A product also known as Microsoft Teams.

Why don’t I like Teams Feces?

  • it is slow and buggy
  • it’s slow when changing chats
  • it’s slow when searching
  • it’s slow when clicking the “edit” button to edit my previous message
  • it’s slow when pressing the “Back” button to go to the previous location i was in
  • it’s slow when moving from chat to calendar
  • it’s slow when moving from calendar to chat
  • it’s slow when opening the chat in a call. like 5-10 seconds slow
  • cannot tap “Up” to edit my previous text instead i have to use mouse if a colleague replies. I dont wan’t to edit my colleague’s message, i want to edit mine.
  • if i click “edit” then quickly type, the text is not added at the end, it’s added at both the start and the end, or sometimes not added at all
  • USE PROPER MARKDOWN: I cannot use proper markdown because teams always fucks up by transforming the text while i’m writing it. it should never transform the text. instead there should be a “html version” which is displayed, and the “original version” which is the one i typed and i want to edit in the future. please look at how Mattermost does it. THAT is the correct way!
  • cannot pin messages (for me and for everyone else)
  • cannot reply to a message
  • the “teams” and “chats” are 2 different things, and i have to move to 2 different “views” to do one or the other (please refer to the slowness notes)
  • rich paste should NOT be the default: i want to paste THE URL, instead of seeing the title of a page. have you though that some people need to copy a whole bunch of text from teams, and you’re fucking up the URLs? I don’t want to use Ctrl Shift V!
  • using text expander apps is fucked up in teams: teams deletes more characters than needed during expansion. (and no, this never happens in Mattermost or Slack or Discord or Intelij IDEA or Sublime Text or any other windows app. Teams is fucked.)
  • when editing a chat with a picture, sometimes teams loses my picture. it asks me to paste it in again. that’s retarded. (please refer to the Markdown notes)
  • cannot interact with teams/chats from multiple “businesses/companies” at the same time, and changing from one business to another takes like 5-10 seconds. This also breaks receiving notifications, so sometimes i have 6 hours without receiving any notifications in teams.
  • cannot type emoji with : then search for the emoji i desire
  • cannot add any emoji to a text as a reaction. this is limited to only 5 emoji that Microsoft approved of
  • if i type double backticks ("``") (or underscores for italic or stars for bold) then i type in between those backticks, the text won’t be monospaced (or italicized or bolded).
  • LEAVE MY MEDIA KEYS ALONE!! it steals my media keys: when teams rings, and i press Media Play/Pause key, my music player is not paused, because that event is sent to teams. Same after a call: i press Media Play/Pause key so that music starts. instead i hear the crappy teams ringtone.
  • right clicking a picture does not give any options (like copy). Feces is a glorified webapp, at least give me the web options
  • chat inside a video call and the main teams app is not synchronized: in the main app it is still shown as unread
  • cannot copy a message by selecting it with the mouse from start to finish if it has multiple newlines. All the content is pasted as a single line
  • keyboard shortcuts should be searcheable, as there are too many of them
  • i cannot @ someone who is not in the current chat. Why? What if i want to point a coleague to a specific person? I dont’ wanna type their name then the coleague copy pasta that in the search box. i wanna @ said person.
  • the emoji auto parse is retarded and bad UX (just like parsing ``, __ **** is), because i cannot properly type this phrase: i changed it to use :company and :store instead, as :s is transformed into an emoji. (please refer to the Markdown notes)

Feces is a horrible abomination of an app.
Do your engineers even use Feces for collaboration, Microsoft?
Have you ever used other communication apps? Discord, Telegram, Slack, Mattermost are a few you should use. Try to write, video, audio, try to edit messages, use the features with your mouse and with the keyboard. look how fast those apps are, how they help the user do what he wants, instead of slowing him down.

If you dislike my profane words about Feces, maybe you’d listen to @codinghorror instead: Invisible Formatting Tags are Evil